Club League Update Rounds 9 - 11: Deja-Vu Part 2

Intro

I was going to post an introductory quote, but when I Googled "mistake quotes", I got a bunch of those fucking retarded WordPorn bullshit quotes. You know the quotes, "Men are pigs", that a certain gender shares on their Facebook pages and Instagram pages.

For those of you playing Luke GJ Potter Blog Post Bingo, please tick off, Misogyny, Wild Uncontrollable Anger and Profuse Swearing. For current and prospective employers and cycling club sponsors, this is just banter, lighthearted jokes and tongue in cheek commentary on things.

Screw it, I'm gonna use a quote, from some George Santayana geezer:

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

The Deja-Vu continued for the next three weeks.

Round 9: Green Sheds Circuit at Black Bull

Since going to Spain to Sinead's Yoga 4 Cyclists/Cycle Sierra Nevada trip in March, I've been struggling with my knees. It lead to my calves not feeling like they were attached to my body. I finally had enough and e-mailed some Aidan Hammond geezer. It was my cleats were pointing my feet in unnatural directions. The outcome was that my knee pain disappeared overnight. Aidan also made some adjustments to my bar orientation and saddle setback. This made massive differences to my descending and neck/shoulder blade comfort. I had replaced them myself before going to Spain, and they were slightly different Look cleats. The ones with the rubber under them.

"Do you have some race this evening Luke?" - Jay (work colleague).
"You have to win this one, how many times you try now?" - Devys (work colleague).
"Lads, I'm just back from Canada, I've eaten shit loads of Pizza over the last ten days. My day will come, but tonight I am hoping for to be in the group after one lap." - Luke (ginger jesus).

Immediate Deja-Vu Alert! Like last year, I rocked up to Black Bull with a new position on the bike. Last year, this race, was my Rose Xeon CW's debut, I had just been to BikeFitStudio to get fitted. Except this year, I didn't bleed all over the bike fitter's floor. Although I did drip water on Aidan's floor, as it was a stormy night outside the M50.

The sizable Semi-Limit group were unleashed to hound down the not so sizable Louise group. I was Ramsey Bolton, with my team of mutts, hunting Sansa Stark. We merged after 10km. I was near the front going into each of the next five roundabouts.

Gar and Killer decided to go on the attack after the fourth one. The guy with the Penguin stickers on his bike was charged with chasing them down. The aforementioned Penguin stickers were a prize for being "Second Best Ginger" on the aforementioned Sinead's Sierra Nevada cycling trip. This lone, Penguin sticker-clad hero, was none other than your protagonist.

I love the words "aforementioned" and "clad".

More Deja-Vu incoming. Last year's race was littered with me dishing out some verbal handbags to other riders, Romano particularly. Romano raced that race smart, stuck to his gameplan and finished 3rd. Again, I apologise Romano. I am not immune to bouts of being a cunt. This year's race demanded verbal handbags. As a living entity, it would possess a rider and have it's due.

After my chase of Gar and Killer, and my diet of Pizza. One rider came up-and-over me. He took the fucking piss. The 15m gap he left me to close was textbook shit-cuntery. He promptly got a "Slow up you fuck, what the fuck are you fucking doing?" and some Italian hand gestures. Given my oxygen debt from the chase, clear sentences like these were a miracle. I had never hysterically replied "What?" to a World Champion, but I crossed that off my Bucket List when Orla said to me "You should've closed that gap". Black Bull - Batterstown Banter though!

After the turn onto the Trim road, I was feeling spectacular. We got into a five man, one woman break. Myself, Gar, Killer, Rachel and two other fallen angels I can't remember. Team Louise reigned us back in like the wild Mustangs we were. Grouppo Compacto.

Then there was this drag. I completely lost my shit. I took leave of my senses and tried to attack up this hill. I remember saying to myself "Lets get the KOM points, attack, drop them all, you feel phenomenal, pizza is a super food." I blew up, spectacularly I might add. Louise tried to give me encouragement to get into a group, but my night was done. I had plenty of time to think "What were you thinking? What KOM points? I really need to stop eating pizza."

I was joined by Mr. Foley in the Luke-etto (Groupetto for Lukes). We made it to the finish line of the circuit. As we pulled in, Scratch, who had merged with Semi-Scratch, passed us. Sean gave us some hand gestures quizzing why we were stopping. We hung out at the finish line for awhile. They had enough marshals, so Jules, Colin (or Paul), Lucy and a dropped Dan rolled back to the car park with me. I was just at my car, when I realised that we didn't wait for my Luke-etto comrade. Sorry Luke, we fucked up.

The latest Deja-Vu, was riding back with Jules. This time last year, we were dropped, after he crashed and I waited up for him. Last year was also the first time I heard of Diarmuid. He lost his Garmin in the aforementioned crash.

It's a tough drive back from Black Bull. You are alone, and you must confront your inner demons. You are given two choices, 1. Formulate a plan to conquer them, or 2. Give up on life, drive your car of the road and take them with you.

I was at home, hosed, and sipping a hot choco in my extremely manly PJs as the race finished. I think that Semi-Limit and Louise were just caught near the end of the race. Killer got a 7th, after getting skunked on the line. The Scratch groups mopped up the placings.

Men's Results

1. Diarmuid O'C
2. Brian McN
3. Jules C
4. Sean M
5. Gavin D
6. Bernard E

Women's Results

1. Aideen
2. Rachel
3. Emily

Finish Line Video

Round 10: Brittas

This round was cancelled due to lack of an Ambulance. I was due to Marshall. In the words of the Philosopher McArdle "You're off the hook."

I had a nightmare that Thursday, I burnt my tongue on some soup in work, then again in the evening with a Cappiccuno.

I used the time to catch up with a bro, and pack for Orwell KAS, in Tralee. There is more Deja-Vu; I didn't compete in the round Brittas round before the TKAS last year. That was due to a crazy rain storm.

On the drive down to Kerry, I finished off The Gunslinger on Audible. The car was roasting hot. Even with the Air-Con on. I heard this hissing sound from inside the car. Was it a snake? No, it was the patch on my bike's tyre. The glue was melting and the air was escaping. The order of business upon my arrival was to take a shower and eat dinner. Then I had to replace the tube. In Orwell KAS, I took the two short routes. It was a nice warm weekend, and I took it really easy. Although the Sunday night, I avoided Deja-Vu. I learned from my past mistake. I opted for the pasta, rather than the pizza that gave me Gastroenteritis last time.

Monday, tired, slightly hungover, listening to The Drawing of Three and dodging speed vans, I drove home. Tralee to Dublin, via the image of the War Criminal that marked Barrack Obama Plaza. #YemenLivesMatter #CongoLivesMatter

Round 11: Mondello Park Crit: 1 hour + 2 laps

Deja-Vu again. Back from Kerry, soon discovered that I had Great Form and that Mondello was the next race. Brian Mc won this race last year, with a solo break in the final laps. I was dropped near the end of the race and needed to take an emergency shit, due to the aforementioned Gastroenteritis.

Team Limit (Photo by David Swift)

Our sizable Semi-Limit group was chasing after the four person Limit cohort, which included the returning Helen. Without our spiritual leader Garret, who was race organiser this evening, we didn't have anyone to lead. It took a lap for anyone to hit the front, but it was Your Penguin Sticker-clad Protagonist who organised the chase.

Team Semi-Limit (Photo by David Swift)

I took a lot of hard turns and resting in the bunch. Semi-Limit were motoring. There was a really satisfying turn with Luke Foley where, after a turn I slid in behind him like a Track Team Pursuitist. But we could not escape the enclosing Semi-Scratch group.

Team Semi-Scratch (Photo by David Swift)

We were reeled in along the main straight. I noticed Mike, and knew we were caught. Sean came zooming by. He wanted to press on with the Semi-Scratch riders. I let them set some pace for a few corners. But I was having to sprint out of the turns to maintain contact. I cannot sprint. I made a big effort to get to the front. I took turns with Graham, Eoin, Stephen and Mike. I was feeling mega-strong here. Sean was strategically conserving energy in the bunch.

The last corner on the circuit was getting tricky with the number of riders. I had a great line I wanted to take through it, but I kept getting dive bombed. This lead to a hesitant approach to it. I would lose a lot of places.

On what would be my last lap, I had to make up loads of places on the main straight, after a terrible last corner. I was exhausted at the top of the straight. I almost took Richard out on the run out of the first corner. I recovered around the next few bends and made my way back to the front. I tried to tell Graham that we were "Bike Buddies" as we have the same bike frame. But this joke was lost on him at 42km/h.

Team Scratch with League Leader Brian McN (Photo by David Swift)

I hit the front going into the corner with a big push. But it happened again. My calf cramped. I tried to massage it at 90 cadence, but it didn't work. I put my hand up and edged over to the side of the track. As Latin speakers would say "Raceious Overious". I sweated al ot in the warm up and didn't rehydrate properly. Valdis later advised me on putting Electrolyte tabs in the race bidon and to do calf raises.

I was sickened. I was going so strong. All I wanted to do was finish a race with the front group. It's been a shit season so far with all the DNFs. This was my best chance to finish a race.

Louise, Rachel and Rafael came by in the next group. The asked me to join them, but I was just coasting around and didn't acknowledge them. The Scratch group was next to pass me. I went into the pits and straight to the car to relax.

As I finished changing and tempering my rage after another DNF. I could see Scratch merge with the other groups. I walked to the start/finish line to hang with the other dropped riders. I reported that the groups had merged. We watched the peloton go by. The scratch riders were trying to attack and isolate Brian Mc. Other greedy riders were also trying to get in on the action, but this was neutralising the moves. All this was playing into the hands of The Man of The Ras.

This guy doesn't fuck around. (Photo by David Swift)

As the one hour time limit expired, Brian attacked. He hugged the railing as he took leave of the group with the gusto of a Mormon exiting an Abortion Clinic come Strip Club type of establishment. Would the result of last year be repeated?

The other excitement on track was Rachel versus Louise for the final Ladies point. They were together until Rachel attacked. We were cheering on Rachel's bravery and Louise and Rafael's Teamwork.

At the end of the extra laps, Brian won solo. Valdis took the bunch kick, claiming points to reduce the gap to the Green Jersey clad League Leader. Orla took two points in the women's league, by virtue of finishing in the front group. Rachel out-foxed Louise for the final point.

Men's Results

1. Brian Mc
2. Valdis
3. Bryan
4. Diarmuid C
5. Simon S
6. Brian McN

Women's Results

1. Orla
2. Rachel

Finish Line Video

Sorry for the lack of Slo-Mo, my Nexus 5X has its 120fps feature removed by some fucking nerd at Google.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

Club League Update Rounds 6 - 8: Deja-Vu Part 1

Setting the Stage

Time is a flat circle. Everything we've ever done, or will do, we're gonna do over and over and over again.

This round up will tie neatly into a sense of Deja Vu, I've been having. Sometimes Deja Vu lasts for seconds, for me it lasted for 5 weeks. This is the story of a man haunted by the demons of his past. Demons who will now become his future tormentors.

Round 6: Brittas

I put my finger behind my ear. This wiped the last of The Green away. I may not be able to grow a beard, but I was wiser than 12 months ago. 364 days and 23 hours had passed since my first taste of Open Road Racing. Last time, I had been badly positioned on almost every corner. I had made an ill-fated bid for glory. I also got credited as Luke "Socks" Potter.

I visualised the victory that I would have. I would race smart. Hang back and move up for corners. Attack on the mid-point of the hill. Semi-Scratch and demotion pleas to Damien Long beckoned. Of the 11 corners on the course, I was excellently positioned for 7 of them and in a good position for another 3 of them. The one remaining corner, I was very far back, as in Dropped "far back".

We started, and I hung out at the back fo the bunch. The first corner was at 2.9km into the parcours. I waited until 2.2km to start with the Up-and-Overs. I was on the front going into the corner. Perfect placement. I would not be sprinting to keep in contact, the accordion effect and all that jazz. I kept up with the Up-and-Overs, and by sheer dumb luck I was at the front for the next corner, the one at the top of the circuit.

I missed a few turns, but started in the Up-and-Overs again midway down the back straight. I was nearing the front as we neared the bridges. When it was my turn to be at the front, I rode hard, to maintain my position going into the first 90 degree corner. I lost a few places on the bridge, but this was intended, so I would have shelter along the home straight.

On the first pass of the finish line hill, I was still fresh. I was riding on the outside, moving up in the group. At the crest, I was on the front. I attacked over the top and sat on the top tube on the way down, Sagan-style. With my legs rested I set about attacking the corner at the top of the circuit. This corner was assigned to me, two days previous, when marshaling the Women's crit league. I knew that it was freshly road-swept. After losing some positions, I was fifth going into the corner. I needed to sprint, but not too hard.

Nothing much happened for most of lap two. I think we caught the Limit group on just after the bridge. One thing was really pissing me off, one rider was riding in the middle of the two lines. "Are you going to take the position, or just pulling the piss?"

On the second climb to the finish, I was sheltered by Robbie Dolan. I switched off my brain and went into a meditation state, just focusing on maintaining distance to Robbie's wheel. Romano was beside me on the descent, there was a gap behind him. I said to him. Let's move out to the opposite side of the road just before the corner. We did, we made up lots of places with this wide line. I found myself on the front with a two man escape fifty meters ahead. I absolutely drilled it to make the catch. my head and body were extremely low to avoid the wind. After catching them I was shot to shit.

It soon became very clear that the Scratch groups would not be gaining on us. Last year a Limit group, containing Connolly and Potter, stayed away from a Semi-Limit group, containing Stevens and Rowan. This year would be no different.

Something happened at the front, and the Up-and-Overs stopped happening. This caused lots of compression on the narrow roads. Someone braked and that compression came backwards like a tidal wave of Sharks. I had to brake hard and almost took out Paul Kane. Someone took charge of the race and the compression stopped happening. Going into the bridges, I was near the back. After the bridges, I was dropped. The gap was widening, I cannot sprint my way out of a wet paper bag. Luckily, there was a JCB (For Townies: it's a brand of digger) ahead, this caused the group to slow. I caught up to the last of the peloton as they passed the JCB.

My momentum carried me to the front of the race, and past it. Holy shit, I was in the lead at the foot of the last climb. I was not thinking clearly. A rational person would've taken stock and convinced themselves "all I had to do was give everything for the next two minutes and I'll win".

Nope, I looked back and seen that my gap was big, but not big enough. As the peloton came by me, I could not respond to their speed and I was dropped. The finish was a hard uphill one. John won the race. Garret was overhauled with fifty meters to go, to finish fourth. Monica won the women's classification.

Finish Line Video (shit gets real at 40 seconds)

Results Men

1. John (SL) 
2. Alan (SL) 
3. Conor (SL) 
4. Gar (SL) 
5. Simon (SL) 
6. Romano (SL)

Results Women

1. Monica 
2. Orla 
3. Louise 
4. Aideen 
5. Ciara

Round 7: Corkagh Park

I went to Canada on the Thursday morning, so see my brother. It was my mother's Christmas/Birthday/Mother's Day present all rolled into one. I was in the Ripley's Aquarium when I checked the forum for the results. One Broken Collar Bone and one Wrist Bone. Bad Buzz and a speedy recovery to the two lads. It was nice to see Richard and Matt getting points from the race which was won by Paul.

The Deja-Vu continued here, as the crash mirrored the one I had the previous year before this race. That Corkagh Park track is like a cheese grater.

Results Limit/Semi-Limit

1. Paul (SL) 
2. Conor (SL) 
3. Richard (SL) 
4. Arek (SL) 
5. Brendan (SL) 
6. Matt (SL) 

Results Limit/Semi-Limit Women

1. Monica 
2. Rachel 
3. Breda

Due to the crash the Semi-Scratch/Scratch race was not run.

While I was away, I lost my GitHub Commit Streak of 52. It was 49 days when I left. When I arrived and got settled in Toronto, I set my Mac's clock to the current timezone, which gave me an extra 5 hours to get in some commits. I then lost it on a busy day over there. I felt a sence of calm after losing something that had comsumed me for the best part of two months. It gave me license to implement more time consuming features, which needed research. Such as Spring-Data-JPA vs. Spring-Data-JDBC. RIP the Streak.

Round 8: Sally Gap

I was still in Canada, can't remember where I was when I got the news. Who was this Paul Burgess? It was all over TV, even in Canada. Did I mention I was in Canada? Luke in Canada, is the new Dan Lloyd riding for Cervelo Test Team.

Deja-Vu Update: I missed this race last year due to injuries sustained in the previous week's crash.

Results Men

1. Paul (L) 
2. Eoin (SS) 
3. Eric (S) 
4. Brian (S) 
5. Greg (SL) 
6. Odhran (S) 

Results Women

1. Rachel (L) 
2. Monica (SL) 
3. Aideen (SS) 
4. Louise (L) 
5. Charlotte (L) 
6. Helen (L) 

Rachel stopped Monica's winning run in the women's classification.

I met a guy on Three Rock hill. We talked about the InterClub League and the Orwell one. He had won the Sally Gap finish from Semi-Scratch. Upon hearing about a Limit rider winning our one, I followed it up with "We all know the story. Some unknown lad appears. Gets put in Limit. Turns out he was a Tour De France domistique". The guy didn't laugh, so fuck him. And fuck the other guy who was there too, who was taking 30 seconds off his PB every week up Three Rock. The secret to his success was probably not eating a packet of Tesco "Free From" Triple Chocolate Cookies on his way from Dundrum Town Centre to his house, 10 minutes away AKA the Chubby Luke training method.

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Club League Update Rounds 4 and 5

Round 4: Corkagh Park Crit 40 mins + 2 laps

After the previous week's strong showing (until the cramped calf muscle), I was full of confidence of winning this round. I started off smart, staying near the front. Until the catch, to Limit, was made. Then with the group so large, and maybe some of my rivals for victory possibly out of position, I started to put the hammer down on the front. I soon realised that this was not effective in shelling the stronger riders.

New Plan, try to engineer a break. Engineering a break proved hard on this race. It looked like everyone fancied themselves as the next Kittel, Gripel, et al.

One of the laps, I got a massive fright. The lad inside me twitched a bit on the turn at the bottom of the circuit. I reacted in true Luke fashion; "Hold your fucking line". I was in a good mood, and focused on conserving energy that day. Hence deciding not to expend kilojules by include additional expletives, such as bitch, cunt, asshole. In hindsight, reacting with a loud vocal warning, might have served to further distract the lad. So I could've been at further fault. We had a brief chat at the end of the race, where we made our peace with the past.

After this scare, I was hit with a surge of adrenaline. I could hear Jules telling me that I was getting angry. I went to the front an put the hammer down again. Still nothing happening. I consigned myself to wait until the last minute of the race, to try a break again. So I was sitting in, ensuring that I took sips of water every lap, to avoid cramp.

Seven minutes from the end of the race, Garret says "Wanna go for it Luke?". I said "Not yet". But I was badly placed coming out of the corner, so I changed my mind. "Let's hit it Gar!!". We tried, but I could not hold Garret's wheel along the straight. He got a bit of a gap, and I got further towards the front.

I looked at my Garmin's timer field, "39 minutes". It may as well have read "Attack O'Clock". I hit the front, trying for a gap. Telling myself that somebody will let the elastic go. They didn't. As the bell was rung, and the pace fired up. My lower back exploded in pain. In the space of 50 meters, I had gone from first to last.

After the race, my mullet received two comments. One from Jules about Laurent Fignon losing the tour by 6 seconds, as he was not hairodynamic enough. The second was from Garret, instructing me to cut it off. This made him the second Connolly to discuss hair removal with me in the previous 24 hours + 2 laps.

I went to the WWE Live event the next night, and took all my frustrations out on Roman Reins, by booing him a lot.

I got the finish line video though:

Round 5: 10 Mile TT Batterstown

After leaving my bike into Joe Daly's for them to apply the parts for the Randonée. I got my 11-32 tooth cassette and GS rear derailleur installed.

I got to Batterstown early. The spate of crashes that marred the M50's Junction 6 last summer, seems to have abated. I had time to warm up into the block headwind. Dave was on his turbo trainer. Preparing for the latest round of the HenCon Challenge.

Garret lead his group ever so slightly wrong. The outcome was that Darragh arrived just at his allotted time. Meaning that he would be riding the TT tired. Maybe that was Gar's plan. Maybe I've watched too many conspiracy videos on YouTube.

When it was my time to roll out. I got a nice start. Then two cars passed me and tried to turn into the funeral that was happening. This slowed me down a little. As I journeyed further, I could not see my minute man, Dave, in front of me. I also could not see Richard behind me. Upon getting to the roundabout, Dave had extended his lead on me. He was about to lay the SmackDown on Gar. I missed out on spying where Richard was.

The way back was insane. A Block Tailwind. I fucked up a little on the way back. At times, I was pushing the 50x11 at 63rpm. I should've retreated into the 13t cog, to spin a bit more and save my legs. Towards the end of the race, my legs were tired from the grinding.

After the race, I hung about and chatted a little. Dave had made it 1-1 in the HenCon challenge.
He had beaten:

• 1 Scratch Rider, albeit returning from injury,
• 10.5 Semi-Scratch Riders,
• 13 of Semi-Limit's Bravest,
• 11 Limit Riders.

On the way home, there was a SpeedVan. It was parked 300meters after the 100kmh sign, where it's preceeded by a 120kmh zone. The profiteering bastards. The retarded driver in front of me was doing 80kmh in the 120 zone, obscuring my vision of the van. I popped out an passed him at 110kmh. I seen the van, went hard on the brakes and was at 90kmh when entering the 100 zone. I seen the camera flash. Or maybe it was the sun reflecting on the lens. I was scared of receiving more penalty points with my insurance up for renewal at the end of May. No letter arrived at the two addresses I claim to live at.

I scored a 27:10, which was 11 seconds away from 6th place.

Place Person      Time   After
1st   Eoin G      25:14
2nd   Tommy S     26:17  01:03
3rd   Barry M     26:34  01:20
4th   Conor D     26:38  01:24
5th   Paul F      26:47  01:33
6th   Killer      27:00  01:46
7th   Richard C   27:09  01:55
8th   Luke P      27:10  01:56
9th   Garrett C   27:28  02:14
10th  Kevin S     27:51  02:37
11th  Diarmuid D  27:56  02:42
12th  Malcolm G   28:07  02:53
13th  Dave M      28:34  03:20

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

Club League Round 3: Corkagh Park Crit 30 mins + 2 laps

Long Story Short

• Feeling good in the race,
• Made the catch to Limit after 10 mins
• My calf cramped at 16 mins as I was about to go off the front,
• Took a lap out to stretch it, but missed the group,
• Got the finish line Video.

Strava

Ride: Club League Round 3: Corkagh Park crit 30mins + 2laps.

Flybys: Round 3.
I enabled:

• The Lukester,
• Gar, he started with Semi-Limit and finished 3rd,
• Robbie, started with Semi-Limit and made an attack on the second last lap,
• Simon, started with Limit and won.

Short Story Long

Build-up

I got a letter, my apartment management company, €65 rent increase per person per calendar month kicking in in August. Paris-Roubaix was on, I looked at the Paddy Power odds. Tony Martin was at 65/1. This was fate. He would win this classic on Trentin's bike and pay my rent increase. I put €1 on him and €10 on Sagan at 3/1. I got up early to watch the full coverage. Early in the race, Tony was put on the front because Ettix-QuickStep cannot make a break. Then after the Cancellara crash, I watched my €11 go up in smokes. Sagan's group was blown apart and Tony was sent to the front to push the gap out by burning all his matches, like someone trying to light a cigarette in the wind.

What are the government doing about these rent increases? Debating over a fucking prayer at the start of the day. The only God answering their prayers is Loki. Where's my USC decrease? Where's the increase in housing supply to counteract this supply and demand crisis? The Independents need to sort their shit out and pick a fucking side. Prior to the election, I instinctively thought that Independents were shit cunts, just there to take up space and pick up €100k per year. I changed my opinion during the election, I dared to dream that maybe they could actually do something. But now, I have reverted it back to shit cunts.

Alan Kelly celebrating his free €100k and ability to practice nepotism. Labour are basically independents.

I got two cycles in since the last race. On Tuesday Night Hills, I took 1:20 of my PB up Curagh Rd. to Pine Forest. I was feeling good going to sleep... Until I seen Brendan's pictures of human dominos in the Women's B-race Sprint finish.

Pre-Race

I got to the track ealier than last week. There was a Strata3-VeloRevolution guy doing laps. He seemed pretty chill. I did my warmup, maybe I didn't do as good a one are the previous week. Killian joined me for the Hamstring stretches.

Tommy arrived. Everyone looked at each other nervously. Some were intimidated, others just didn't want to stare. I took a glance when he wasn't looking. His jersey was a bit looser on his arms. I used to go to the gym a lot, take Z-Mag, Creatine, Protein and eat scrambled Hen Periods. I knew what boat he was in. He wanted to be seen as more than just biceps. He wanted to be seen as a man... with a kick-ass beard. Ann had published an article about the Tour of the Foothills, about 20% of the article was describing Tommy's biceps. With all publishing companies looking for the next 50 Shades of Grey and/or Danielle Steele, Ann might be setting herself up for career change.

John rang his bell. This signalled 5 minutes to go. He gave the usual preamble speech, the shortened version is "Don't be a shit cunt during the race". Yvonne had a mechanical on the start line. She commandeered Rebecca's bike. We had Martin and Grainne making their League debuts.

Race

When Limit got to the bottom corner, I started agitating to be let go. I was saying "Now, come on, that's far enough" to John. Romano was in front of me, sealing a few inches. We were unleashed. I couldn't clip-in. My cleats are pretty messed-up since I changed them. I'll probably need to get them checked with lazers.

I was near the back on the first few laps. I needed to get to the front. At the back, you're red lining it to keep pace and you'll also miss the moves. I moved up slowly. My legs were not working, my warm up was not right. Gaining ground on the finish straight. Last week, I used this straight to take a sip of water. This week I was too focused on making up places. I eventually hit the front about seven minutes in to the race. On the main straight, I was on the front, I gestures for people to roll through. I got some help in the form of two able bodies. Not exactly the Calais Jungle I was hoping for.

We were reeling in Limit riders. Lots of us were sensing blood. I got boxed in and a bad corner had me at the back again chasing on. I was slightly off the back when the catch was actually made. Some lad messed up the last turn, went into the grass and then pulled out in front of a few of us. The pace up front slowed and we caught back on. We made the catch after ten minutes of the thirty.

It was going to be a slight rest, then time to start shelling riders. I was making up places safely. At sixteen minutes I was mid-pack. I was feeling really good, warmed up just in time for the business end of the race. Matt was in front of me, there was lots of space on the right to move up. I asked Matt to attack. When he declined my generous invitation, I spun it up. On the drops, low profile, Luke Ewan. I hit the front.

Now was the time to take a few riders with me. Split the field. Hopefully catch some of the stronger lads out of position. Divide up the points between us. This would be the winning move. I had the hair gel in the car, I've been working on a mohawk/mullet, ready for the podium. I was ready for my value, in the Orwell Fantasy League, to skyrocket. People would not be able to have Brian Mc and I in the same team.

That was the dream. But just as my gap started to go out. My non-driveside calf cramped. There was a pain in my calf that felt like a pull. I tried to jam it back into place with my thumb. This did not work and Doctor Luke was reeled back in, chewed up and spat out. I pulled in on the home straight. I told John that I was going to take a lap out. I stretched the calf. It felt better. I tried to jump back on as the main group passed. But I was gone full Matt Stevens. I could not clip in. I missed the group. Race Over.

Post-Race

I decided to be helpful, I rushed to the car and changed into warm clothes. I picked up my phone. I heard the bell being rung. John's ringing of the bell would later be known as "Bellgate". I sprinted to the track, as I, like Tommy and Robbie, though it was the last lap. I had the camera ready to record in 120fps, to get the slow-motion video. The group approached, but John was shouting last lap. Dave was asking where Tommy was.

It wasn't the last lap. I got the finish of the race. Simon won, for real this time. I helped John identify the placers.

Robbie and Tommy were very confused. They went for it on the Bell Lap. But that bell only signified the end of the 25 minutes. So they had run out of steam for the actual final. Mistakes were made. The #JusticeForTommyAndRobbie hashtag didn't gain much traction on Twitter, despite The FroomeDog championing their cause.

What Was Learned

I need to drink more to avoid cramps.
I need to monitor the warmup too, last year 4x45seconds @ Z6 worked well for me.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

Club League Round 2: Corkagh Park Crit 25 mins + 2 laps

Long Story Short

• Goal for the race was last 30 mins before getting dropped, the race was 29 mins long and I did well
• Winning break went on the first corner,
• I bridged two gaps solo,
• Was never outside the top five wheels in a group after bridging,
• Took a last lap flier for 7th place,
• Lead out the sprint for 7th,
• Got 11th

Strava

View the Ride on Strava: Club League R2: Corkagh Park crit 25 mins + 2 laps. Top 11 finish.

View the Race Replay on FlyBys: Round Two.
I enabled:

• Myslef, as per ús, I am the protagonist,
• John B, started with SL and won,
• Tommy S, started with Limit and finished in the points.

Short Story Long

Build Up

After last week's anniliation, my confidence was a bit low. Still, I was keen to make ammends and test myself properly against the Limit groups. I intended to do some 30/30's on the Turbo on Monday, but I was too pissed off at The Walking Dead's cliffhanger. Pretty stupid blackmail AMC. Considering that there will be leaked set photos of the character on the ground with their brains exposed. My money is on Abraham getting romantically involved with Lucile. The show has a quota of African-American characters that they can have on the cast at any one time. I presume that this also applied to Gingers. Carol and Morgan encountered a new Ginger character.

Tuesday I cycled into work and cycled to the Tuesday Night Hills. I put in a few digs that would simulate the 30/30's that I missed the previous night. I got home, showered, fed and watched Wrestlemania. I also kept up my GitHub Commit Streak and extended it to 13 days at that point.

Pre-Race

As a member of our team in work was leaving, we went to Eddie Rocket's for Milkshakes. As I have been getting a little Lactose intolerant from my more Vegan/Vegeterian focused diet, I arrived at the circuit without much extra weight sitting in my digestive tract.

This diet change has also lead me to renounce my previous life as a Tuna Steampot consumer. I had my second bowl of Porridge, Almond Milk, Maple Syrup and Granola of the day at 5pm. I was at the circuit at 18:10. Which is not great timing, as my office is the next exit to Corkagh Park.

I couldn't decided what colour lenses to use, Yellow or Dark. There was rain promised, but it was bright at the bottom corner of the circuit. I went with the Darker ones. I was also employing the use of the Long sleeve skinsuit with a vest base layer and leg warmers and ankle socks.

I did my warmup and stretches. I went back to my car to throw in my jacket. Up the road Rachel was rubbing two Huskies. I have a bucket list, and hugging a Husky is on it. I could not let this moment pass. As they approached I bent down and stuck out my hand. They started jumping all over me. Next thing I was hugging them and they were licking my face. It was everything that I though it would be.

Jules showed up with a broken pedal. I produced my multi-tool from my utility belt.

Race

Racing in the rain, lets hope the Luke Staring at Stems does not become a thing. (Photo by Ian Anderson)

After standing around in the cold waiting for Limit to gain on us, Dick unleashed us. I was at the front for a few seconds, but I was struggling to clip in. I lost loads of places before I got clipped in. The biggest danger in Corkagh Park is that someone will lose a wheel and it'll be race over. Even before we got to the first corner, the guy in front of me lost the wheel. Some other guy was crossing wheels with me, thus boxing me in. I asked for space to get out close the gap. But these guys were in league with Mr. Blennerhasset and kept this animal caged. Spoiler Alert: the race was over before we exited the first corner.

I eventually got out and waited, near the front of the group, for someone to start the bridge. I have been watching some Cycling Maven and Vegan Cyclist videos on racing. I had one tactic, sit in and wait. No one wanted to come though. The race was getting away from me, I looked up and seen four groups ahead; Limit, John, Richard and Killian.

I punched hard and made the solo bridge to Killian's group. He was suffering from a dodgy hamstring. Obviously he wasn't warming up like The Cable Guy. There was two lads sitting on his wheel waiting for Killian to work. I took a breather at the back. I seen Killian pulling over and these lads were looking at him. I knew that there would be no help from these guys.

I jumped Grouppo del Killian and spent 5 mins averaging 263 Watts to catch the next group. Richard was in the same situation, except for bikes instead of hamstrings being his injury. Lads sitting on his wheel. We were now catching Limit Riders that had been spat out the back of John's group. I was taking a few small turns in this group with Richard.

I looked back and seen that Garret was leading the chase to our group. The main bunch was also in pursuit. They merged with us. "Great now we have all the firepower to reel in John" I thought. I was wrong. It was only Garret, Richard and myself taking turns. Three guys tired of bridging and chasing vs The Blenerhasset Express.

The three of us got a slight gap, and we caught Peadar on a slow section of the course. I yelled at him in good time to tell him to jump in behind me. He did. We were soon joined by the remainder of the group. It was getting darker and starting to rain, maybe even hail, hard. I should've used the Yellow lenses on the glasses, as now I could barley see 50 meters ahead.

I made a series of hand gestures to encourage more people to come through, but only Diarmuid joined us at the front. This was the opposite of the Turkish border, no one coming through. I stopped working. I let the three lads take a lap and then I'd make a gap for them to slot into.

When Dick announced that there was 2 laps left, I said to Richard, Gar, Peadar and Diarmuid to keep the pace really high. This would stop us getting swamped by the others and them stealing our hard earned point-less, imaginary places at the end for bragging rights.

As we passed a rider, Dave Mc was shouting "Don't let them laps you". Who was getting lapped here? Surely not Grouppo Luko. We evaded the Smackdown. I was half expecting Dick not to shout "Final Lap", but he did.

Final lap, I moved up along the outside of  the uphill home straight with really high cadence. I took the first corner really well. Then looked under. No one there. I hit the gas to the end of the straight. Still no one on my wheel. "7th is in the bag, just gotta keep going here Luke" I though. Coming out of the bottom corner I was still free. Gar got onto my wheel on the slight uphill. I lead it into the final corner. I moved left, as I wanted shelter from the cross wind on the run home.

Gar, Richard and two others powered past me. I kept it going for a Top 11 finish.

Post-Race

It was a bitter sweet finale. I lost my 7th place, but the lads who worked with my group got good places because I kept the pace high. I shook hands with Richard at the end, fist bumped Peadar. I would've offered some high-fives but my bicep was almost frozen from the wind and rain.

I stripped off the wet clothes and dried up as much as possible and messaged my house mates to turn on the hot water. Set the heat high in my car and drove/shivered all the way home.

I was very happy I stayed towards the front. The difference in Average Power output between myself and Dan was almost 50W. He was at the back of the pack and had to work harder due to the accordion effect. I had some celebratory Falafel on the Thursday night.

What Was Learned

• Maybe Damien Long was correct. I can mix it with these Semi-Limit lads.
• But he was also incorrect when he was talkig about lads not losing the wheel.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

Orwell Wheelers 2015 CycloCross Championships

Long Story Short

I finished 9th out of 15 riders,
I got lapped by Eric and Barry L,
I was involved in the course design and setup.

Strava

View the ride on Strava: Orwell CX Champs. 9th/15.
View the Race on Strava Flybys: Orwell Wheelers CycloCross Championships.

Course Segment

Short Story Long

Build-Up

Sometimes I like to lie awake at night and wonder “How many times could Eric lap me in a 45 minute CycloCross race?” On the morning of Saturday the 2nd of January 2016, I got my answer. This is my story…

Stephen announced the idea for an Orwell CX Champs at the skills session with Robin Seymour back in September. The idea was approved at the AGM. Stephen had asked for some help with the organising. Eric and I said that we would help out where possible. Stephen sorted all the details; the date, booking the park and sourcing the course marking hardware. We arranged to mark out the course on a Saturday, with Eric running the rule over it on the Sunday. Eugene was pioneering the promotional side of the event. We collaborated on the Preview Post. We agreed that Eric was the favourite, but disagreed about the women’s favourite. Eugene’s copy about Brianne being “a classic kampieonschap renster” proved to be foreshadowing that only Christopher Nolan’s “The Prestige” could outdo.

Pre-Race

Come the morning of the event everyone arrived almost simultaneously. Stephen unloaded 50 poles, some barrier creation paraphernalia and 40 mini-flags created by his family, which we used for the directions. Jen had contributed sweet-looking cakes and buns. I forgot to enquire about the origin of the tea and coffee, but that was a nice touch too.

Barry M, Daisy, Eric and I began the setup for the course’s first obstacle, a series of corners. With the limited amount of poles at our disposal, we had to be clever. I decided to just mark the inside of the corners with gates to aim for on the exit of the corners which would serve as the entry to the next corner.

With my section complete, I headed back to get my bike and warmup. Darragh was putting down flags. Damien was erecting the barriers. There was a crowd amassing with Garret’s band of merry men arriving. Dennis was handling the sign-on. Non-cycling people were looking over the fence, probably wondering if it was a crime scene or an archaeological excavation.

It was decided that we would have a neutral lap to get everyone familiar with the course. Myself and Eric lead the lap. Eric showed the way through the ammonia-soaked soil of the tree section that he had designed.

Eoin was the mystery man. The new signing, donning his UCC colours would start alongside the other three in the Chase group. Eoin was missed in the preview post, but he has been prominent in the B races. He scored a 4th in Fixx’s Glencullen, 2nd in DCCX’s Killruddery and the following week took victory in Sundrive’s The Muddy Cup.

Author’s Note: some of the details below may seem harsh, but it’s all tongue-in-cheek.

Aidan, Eric, Eoin and Valdis, the four horsemen of the A-pocalypse, were released first by the race commissaire. They would be starting a lap down. Once they had cleared the first series of corners the quintet of ladies were unleashed. The magic number of five competitors would make this a regulation Club Championship event. They would be getting a head start on the remaining men.

The four vets and one junior were combined with the two B-racers. Barry was leaving his jacket on until the last minute, as is Belgian tradition. I tried to distract Mike, first enquiring; “How is the hat business going?” and next asking him if he already had puncture. It didn’t work though, Mike brushed it off with a rye grin.

My goal for the day was to level the head-to-head with Barry, at three apiece. Mike, in absence of Richard and John, issued a challenge to me; “You and me today?” I had watched one too many Conor McGregor videos to quietly back down. I was just about to retort with a “I love this beautiful country…” spiel, but…

Race

The ladies entered the series of corners and the whistle blew for us. I completely forgot to setup my pedal for entry, this lead to some fluffing with clipping in. On a scale of one to Matt Stephens (of GCN fame), it was about a three. I discovered that I was second-last, just ahead of Malcom, or Lloyd (according to Strava), competing on his MTB. I just got passed Barry and Mike before the first corner. Everyone else, except us three course abiding riders, skipped this first obstacle. There was no point moaning about it, in the end, we were well beaten by Barry K and Eddie. There were a few more liberties taken with my beloved course, which lead to the deployment of some no-nonsense marshals.

Barry went out the back after the tree section. Ciaran was forced out with a puncture. I was able to keep pace with Mike for two and a bit laps. Together we passed three fifths of the ladies, Naoise, Aisling and Sandra. On the third lap the heavy ground was getting the better of me. My next two laps drifted from 6:44 to 7:04. My final three laps were 7:19. Mike vanished into the horizon. Orla was my next capture. Looking forward I could see Eddie doing battle with Brianne over the barriers. I really wanted to gain on them, but every lap they edged past the position that I marked them at the previous lap.

The crowd was cheering really well, with Dick, Killian and Garret being the most audible. This encouragement softened the blow of Eric et al. coming up to pass me for position. Eric passed me on the corners at the start of the lap. Eoin put the move on me into the increasingly slippy corner at the bottom of the descent. Valdis took me over by the bonfire pit. Aidan put me away under the trees.

The one section of the course that was the hardest was the run back to the start line. It was so bumpy that it was just battering all the little muscles and tendons in my spine. It’s a condition listed in the BroScience Medical Textbook as “Cross Back”. Cross Back can be a two day affair when DOMS sets in the next morning. It can be solved by going for a recovery ride to remove the lactic acid from the affected areas.

Towards the end of the race, the commissaire said “Two laps” to me. I immediately heard him and Damien Long say “Last lap Eric”. Race leader, Eric Downey was about to lap me. He floated like a butterfly up the drag en route to taking the checkered flag.

Next time I looked back, I seen Barry K looming large. He put me to the sword on the run to the line. He was pretty nice about it, and had some nice words as he passed me. We clapped the rest of the riders home. No one pulled out any Mathieu Van Der Poel style celebrations. There’s always next year.

Post-Race

After the race, we posed for a photo. We each grabbed some of the course markers, many hands made light work. The course was dismantled within minutes. The winners were announced. Mike produced his box of head apparel, now dubbed the “Handley Hats”. When I got home, I pulled the bike apart and gave it a thorough cleaning, as my CycloCross season was now over.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

Orwell Wheelers 2015 Club League Round 21: Golden Ball. Last round of the season.

Long Story Short

• Finished 11th.
• First to the base of Pine Forest climb.
• Tried an attack on the run in.
• BBQ was great.

Strava

View the ride on Strava: Orwell Wheelers 2015 Club League Round 21: Golden Balls. 11th. Really enjoyed the season.

For the FlyBys Replay, I enabled the following front group finishers;

• Myslef, started with Limit,
• Paul, started with Semi-Limit,
• Sean, started with Semi-Scratch,
• Eric, started with Scratch.

Short Story Long

Build-Up

After being shown, in no uncertain terms, that I was not able to compete on the steep gradients the previous week, I was keen to make amends. After seeing the initial route, I was feeling pretty confident of a good showing. There were only four sections I would classify as steep. On Greg's Saturday Spin, we went over the Featherbeds. I went very hard there and got a good preview of what it was like to scale and descend with fatigue.

Sunday and Monday were spent recovering from a hangover. The only thing I could do was watch Hugh Jackman and Robot movies. Real Steel was on a par with Ricky Hatton's tactics for one-dimensionalism. Chappie was top notch. I polished off the latest audiobook Thriller, "The Girl on the Train". Which I happened across when I was looking for the fourth book in the Millennium Saga.

Tuesday, I went for a recon of the initial route. I didn't enjoy the climb out of the elbow. But the rest of the parcours was really enjoyable. I set a lot of PR's on the climb to Glencree and some second best times for the ascent and descent of the Featherbeds. When I got home, I put in an order for the newly restocked Canyon CX bike. Canyon have a dubious reputation for shipping, so I'll cancel the order if the Giant Store give me my three requirements for a bike; 11-32T, 44cm handlebars and 170mm Shimano crankset. But clearly Giant's Contact function on their website is a Social Experiment inspired by The Dharma Initiative's The Pearl station.

Wednesday I discovered the Motorsport Manager mobile game. I also discovered that I had a shit ton of ironing that had build up. But these fancies took a back seat to my cake creation. I decided on a Maltesers and Mars bar biscuit cake. The website with the recipe had pictures of a child making the cake. I knew that this was right up my Bakers St. SherLuke Holmes investigated the ingredients from Tesco. They don't stock Rolling Pins. So that was one Cluedo scenario out of the equation. The result of the cake making looked pretty good with some Instagram filters.

A photo posted by Luke GJ Potter (@lukegjpotter) on Aug 19, 2015 at 2:23pm PDT

Pre-Race

Thursday I had a dilemma. Would I go to Enniskerry straight from work, or would I go home and cycle out? I decided to go straight from the office. The traffic from the Luas bridge to my apartment can be harsh. I put my cake in the Office fridge, hoping it would not be raided. A fate endured by my cartons of Almond Milk. Although my latest theft prevention strategy, has seen Almond Milk related crime drop 100%. A few hours of work, couple of Bananas and a Tuna Steampot in a pear tree later, I treated someone to a staredown in the elevator after they admitted looking at my cake in the fridge. I had seen that the route had been changed, this would remove the Devil's Elbow. I was very happy with this change.

I got to Golden Ball at 17:45, put my cake in their fridge and started warming up. I went for an easy warm up ride with Robbie. I got back to sign on, chat and ride to Enniskerry.

Race

Glencree Road

Limit group were released. I noted that four of the nine riders were running Power Meters. Niall and better climber Luke got a gap early. Myself and Dan closed them down slowly. This effort seen three riders go out the back on the lower slopes of the hill. Diarmuid, Dave H and Peadar were gone. We were riding up and overs until the road got harder. Dave M was dropped at this point. Before the road leveled off on the approach to the Featherbeds, I was struggling. The last remaining Dave (he probably prefers David), was losing the wheel in front. I was behind him. I asked myself "What would Garret and Jules do?" I put it in the big ring and got out of the saddle. This moved the stress from the cardio system to the muscular one. I grinded past David and rejoined Dan, Niall and other Luke. We were all out of Dave's at this point. At the hairpin leading onto the Featherbeds, there was four Limit riders left. I checked for the approaching Semi-Limit lads, but couldn't see any of them at that point.

Featherbeds

I hate the Featherbeds. I was Chris Frooming. Head down, on the tops, ensuring I didn't drop out of a Zone 4 effort and admiring my stem. My Featherbed fellows were slowly disappearing from my limited view. I was really struggling here, I had a plan. I had been watching some of the Training Peaks Webinars (be prepared for shitty quality audio and computer illiteracy). They had one about "How to Handle the Pain", the presenter put forward Cognitive Disassociation as one of the methods. I started counting my breaths to ten and restarting. I kept motoring. I looked back and seen the back car with it's hazards flashing. Semi-Limit was coming.

There's a line where it is clear Dublin and Wicklow converge. The road surface changes from a horrible mess to smooth tarmac. This line is my cue to slam it into the big dog, chuck it in the gutter and put myself into the red. There was a cross tailwind up the Featherbeds. My front wheel was getting light. The wind was tugging the deep section. I positioned myself on the nose of the saddle, jammed my right shoulder into the bars. With most of my weight over the front wheel and the wheel not moving, I was in full control. I looked back I had distanced the Semi-Limit car.

I looked forward, two out of three Limit riders were shitting themselves on the windy descent. I reeled in Niall and Dan very quickly. As good as one Luke is at going upwards, the other Luke's forte is descending like a stone. I loved this chase. Neither of us were sitting on the top tube, it was too windy. I closed a bit of the gap on the first corner into the tree line. I didn't brake, I used a really good line though it. I braced myself for a cross wind at the exposed gateway. Dropped three gears for the next corner, again I didn't brake. I pedalled hard out of the corner and spun out before the Viewing point. I dropped more gears before braking hard. Luke was very close now. I should've dropped two more gears, as I struggled to pedal out of the second hairpin. Luke gained time here. I got over the gear and started building speed again. Two oblivious idiots, were riding side by side on the descent to the tight turn at the bridge. Who the hell rides two abreast downhill? I had to hamper my entry line and speed as I passed them before the corner. I didn't want to leave the pass until after the corner, incase they shit themselves on the bend. After this corner there's lots of places that look like they are the entrance to the Pine forest climb. I don't know if Luke was waiting for this to appear and was going slow. I finally passed him about 500 meters before the turn to the uphill. Nothing quite like risking life and limb for Club League points.

Pine Forest

I wanted to roll onto the Pine Forest climb with lots of speed. I would struggle here. But there was a car, who's indicators weren't being operated. I had to slow. I communicated my urgent desire for them to speed up. They moved into the carpark of the hill walk and I passed. For the second time in a month, I was leading a bike race. As with the last time, this evaporated. As Luke reclaimed the lead. I was going hard up the hill and was mostly ignoring the riders passing me. I just wanted to get over the hill. Luke's chain dropped and I passed him again. But within thirty seconds he was in front of me. Garett, Sean, Stephen B, Dan, Niall, Colin and Robbie also passed me on the hill.

As I crested the hill, I tried hard to chase on, and gained a bit of ground. As the road flattened out, Eric and Stephen R passed me. I jumped on their train. The group in front was held up by a van. We caught on. We overtook the van and everyone else jumped on. Garret was most surprised to see me, as he wasn't aware of my Comic Book Villain tendency to not stay dead for long. Stephen and Colin were way up the road. They were going to battle it out for the win. The group did some up and overs, I was at the back. I asked myself "What would Ken O'Neill do?"

I attacked from the back. I got a bit of a gap. I thought that they start looking at each other. Eric closed me down. I wasn't happy. I gave him my best Matt Brammier; "Come on then Eric";

He didn't respond... for a few seconds. Then he attacked. Eric is really strong, he was the only Scratch rider in the front group. But closing the handicap and making this attack was possibly too much to ask. He was followed and swamped for the finish line. The line appeared out of nowhere. I counted the riders who were in front of me, I was 11th. Not a bad way to end the season.

Post-Race

To celebrate the end of the season, there was a BBQ in the Golden Ball pub in Kilternan. The pub was really nice inside and had a great view of the mountains. The BBQ was free, and I had a burger, sausage and a chicken. Sorry animals, I was hungry and it smelt nice. A very well organised event by Ann. Aparently my cake went down pretty well.

There was some left over and I brought it into the office the next day. I cut it a bit smaller and offered it to my team mates. They looked relieved at not having to smell a John West Tuna Steampot for another seven months.

What Was Learned

• Bike racing is only as serious as you take it.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

Orwell Wheelers 2015 Club League Round 20: Hill Climb Championships

Long Story Short

• Got a time of 2:17.99
• 11th out of 14 in Limit.
• 53rd out of 63 Overall.
• There was a great turnout from Leisure and Youth riders. A nice intro into Club League life.

Strava

What I recorded of the ride: Orwell Wheelers 2015 Club League Round 20: Hill Climb: 2:17. Limit:11/14 Overall:53/63 (forgot to press start).

Here's the VeloViewer interactive profile of the climb.

Short Story Long

A short report, because it was a short race and because I did shit.

Build-Up

As part of Garret's Tuesday Night Hills group, we went out to get a look at the Devil's Elbow the previous week. The following Tuesday Night Hills group was targeted at repetitions of the Devil's Elbow. I did four reps, my fastest time being 2:28. Although that was with 2 water bottles and a saddle bag. I determined my starting gear. Although I didn't experiment with riding the whole thing in the saddle. I would start out of the saddle sit down after the second bend and try to hold 300 Watts.

I cleaned my bike on Wednesday, using WD-40 and Fairy Liquid. I reckon I got about 3g of dirt off the bike. I probably should've gotten a haircut too.

I also deleted any non-essential files off my Garmin. I didn't want it to get heavier the more it stored. My day job is as a Software Engineer. Me believing that files stored on a Garmin would make is heavier is not the craziest belief in the world. People (warm blooded mammals), who wear coats in Winter and have been to Dublin Zoo, still believe that St. Patrick banished the snakes (cold blooded reptiles) from Ireland.

Pre-Race

As this race was on the South Side and I could ride out to it, I went home after work and got ready there. Ate my Tuna Steampot and Banana. I only had one Banana. I had some performance anxiety, which served to raise my W/Kg. The bear who invented Charmin, you the real MVP!

I rode out and met Dave at Joe's. We rode together. I put in some efforts on the rises along the way. When I got out there I took off everything that added weight; Bottles, Saddle bag, phone, keys, arm warmers and food. I didn't even wear a heart rate monitor. I also opted for light weight ankle socks, over my preferred longer heavier ones.

Race

About 10 mins before my start I headed down to the starting area. There was already a crowd amassing. I found a nice gateway, as I didn't want another TT hampered by a full bladder. This gateway had a great view. Upon my return, Dave was getting ready to be started. He was getting banter from Garret about his respective sibling rivalry.

Ann's turn was coming up. But she wasn't anywhere to be found. Fortunately for her, the clock was messed up. After a lengthy process of trying to contact Dave Mc, the clocks were resynced. Ann showed up and was started.

James and Niall opted not to be held at the start. It worked out well for James. Niall struggled to clip in and lost some time there. Dan flew up the hill in the saddle.

I was next. I moved over. I clipped in and prepared the Garmin, putting it onto the field to display 3 second power. I completely forgot to press start, as I used the ride button. With 30 seconds left, I was held. The pole was to my left, and my more powerful front break was to my right. The time was counted down and I was started with a little push. I went up the hill out of the saddle and got back in the saddle after the second corner. On the corners I was riding as close to the outside line as possible, to make them as flat as possible. It was then I noticed that my Garmin wasn't started. I tried to hold 300W for the remainder. I held 306W. I was breathing deeply through my agape mouth.

Post-Race

I'm not great a the steep stuff, I didn't need a Hill Climb to tell me that. But now I know I'm hopeless.

We hung around the finish line for the riders to finish. Many of us coughing up the midgets that we had swallowed, myself included. I had excess water, so I offered it to those who were more African in their water levels. Then went to Johnny Foxes to look at the times on Dave Mc's sheet.

Some family scores were settled. Daragh claimed the Connolly Cup from his "younger, older looking" brother, Garret. The gap was 6.9 seconds. Dave left with the bragging rights in the Hendron household. He beat his sister, Orla, 4.3 seconds.

The full results are available on the Orwell Forum.

Limit top 6 + myself

 1. Kevin Sammon       1:41.51
 2. Dan Coulcher      1:51.99 + 10.48
 3. James O'Callaghan 1:57.15 + 15.64
 4. David Claes       2:01.18 + 19.67
=5. Niall Kieran      2:04.88 + 23.37
=5. Stephen Heary     2:04.88 + 23.37
----
11. Chubby Luke       2:17.99 + 36.48

What Was Learned

• Don't go on Caramel Digestives binges.
• You can't finish 3rd in all the Time Trials.

reade more... Résuméabuiyad

Orwell Wheelers 2015 Club League Round 19: Team Time Trial

Long Story Short

• I hitched my waggon to the Horan train,
• The team of Helen, Breda, Ann and myself, all Limit riders, had a ten minute handicap,
• Team Horan-Potter recorded a 51:30, the adjusted time with the handicap was 41:30,
• We placed third, twenty seconds behind the first place team,
• After eating healthy in the run-up, we pigged out afterwards.

Strava

View the TTT on Strava: Orwell Wheelers 2015 Club League Round 19: Team Time Trial avec les trios Horans: 3rd.
See Also: Ann's TTT and Breda's Team TT.

View the replay on Strava Flybys. I've enabled:

• Brian Mc; his team won, they didn't catch us,
• Sean; his team finished second, they passed us,
• Myself; we finished third, two successive weeks of not being the token ginger,
• Stephen B: his team finished fourth, they passed us,
• Stephen R: his team finished fifth, they also passed us,
• Dan; he lead the under-age team, we passed them, they finished eighth with two Vets, an U-16 and an U-14 rider.

Members of the teams that finished sixth and seventh didn't show up on the Flybys selection.

Short Story Long

Prepare yourself for lots of lists.

Build-Up

I knew the Team Time Trial was coming up. I wanted to take part, but I didn't know who else was really interested in taking part. I knew I wanted a Limit team, so we'd get the maximum handicap and we'd be evenly matched. I used the new matchmaking app, "TTT Tinder". I gave these girls a swipe. I won't comment on the direction that I swiped the Murnanes. A few cheesy chat-up lines later and I had a team.

Please ignore the "83".

I rode out to Blessington on the Bank Holiday Monday. I did a recon of the route. This gave me an insight into the pacing strategy to employ on the full run. I broke the route into six segments based on the terrain;

1. 0 - 3km - The start is downhill, and flat until over the first bridge.
2. 3 - 5km - There's three ramps. There's lots of flat after these ramps. So we can go hard over them. As long as we're together after the 3rd one. I went Z5 power over these.
3. 5 - 10km - Long flat section until over the second bridge.
4. 10 - 22km - The hard work begins. There's eight steep hills in quick succession. This includes the gravel section (14-16.4km) that Killian was talking about on the forum. I went Z4.5 Power over these.
5. 22 - 25km - After these hills, there's a long flat section.
6. 25 - 28km - There's the ramp near the end, but it's not steep. It ends with the white shed with the red roof and the T-Junction sign. Followed by a small descent and a little drag to the finish. Again I went Z4.5 Power over this.

I didn't go so far as to print out stem markers, but I used a simple format to remember where I was. "3 up, 5 down, 10 up, 22 down". This corresponded to the kilometer and the terrain change.

I researched some Team Time Trial tips. They included the usual basic common sense things, ride in a line, pace from the outset. They recommended keeping communication to one or two word commands. Another small tip was to drink at the back of the train.

Based on my recon I set pace goals for the six segments. I didn't look at the times from the previous years. For the first two flat sections, I wanted to average 37kmh. For the last flat sections I wanted to average 40kmh. For the first three climbs I set a Wattage goal in my Zone 5/VO2 Max, we would be able to recover on the flat. For the rest of the climbs I wanted to pace in the middle of my Zone 4/Threshold.

We agreed, ...well I went "Luke Jong-Un" on it...;

• To take 30 second turns on the front, unless you were suffering. This would give 90 seconds rest.
• To keep the group together until after the eight climbs. This would allow us to have full fire power for the proposed 40kmh sections.
• On "Up and Over" and the call to switch the leader. Make the call, check for traffic and pull off.
• On "On" as the command to signal that the rider was back in the slipstream. So we could raise the speed without the rider having to make a sprint effort.
• On "Off" as the command to signal that we were down a rider. This would keep the group together.
• That on the sections where we planned to aim for 40kmh to do 30 seconds on the front, or until they are not able to 40kmh, which ever came first.

I had my Garmin set to display;

• Power Zone - For Pacing on the Hills,
• Cadence - Just for my own gear selection,
• Lap Time - To know when my 30 seconds was up,
• Lap Distance - For the markers of the distance I had highlighted,
• Current Speed - For Pacing on the Flat.

Helen suggested that we not use the TT bars. This was the correct decision. The course was too technical and required too many gear changes outweighing the aerodynamic benefits on offer.

Pre-Race

I woke up Thursday morning and I knew that I didn't have the form that I had the two previous weeks. Especially the imperious, Pegasus-like, flame grilled strength in my quadriceps that lead me to fourth after working like ...whatever is the politically correct personification of the modern standard of hard labour... distant relative of a North Korean defector.

I wasn't confident of making it through the eleven kilometer hilly section. I had witnessed half of my team (and everyone else) destroy me on the steep pitches (Conor Pass, Dunloe, Molls Gap and Ballaghbeama) in the TKAS. Basically I didn't want to be Nico Roche.

After a few consecutive hours of converting Oxygen into Carbon Dioxide, cumulating in a Tuna Steampot and a pair of bananas being scoffed, I arrived in Manor KillBuzz. I hadn't been reading the Kilbride Chronicle since they increased their subscription price. My knowledge on the relationship between bike racers and residents was based on the first Sally Gap race. I had no sooner exited my automobile than some lady recklessly parked her car in front of mine and get on her phone. "This is some Twin Peaks, Wayward Pine type shit" I thought. After a few minutes of talking on the phone and glancing at me, she reversed away. "She's probably asking her cohorts to pick up some Kidney beans for the Lukie Con Carne" I'm not one for smoking the wacky tobaccy, so this paranoia was real. More motorists passed whilst slowly passing and they were on their phones too. Turns out there was a speed ramp that I couldn't see. There was also a large traffic jam on the main route, so these people were probably calling for directions. With Bebo just being released in Wicklow last week, I figured Google Maps was a few years away yet.

Other notble pre-race meals: Ann and Helen had tea and sandwiches, Breda had Couscous al a Chicken.

Ann arrived at the community centre and I located Helen. With bidons empty and possibly a child's life ruined, we used a back road to practice some "through and offs" on our way to the sign on. Ann noticed that the person second in The Horan Express should make an effort to keep their wheel to the inside of the person in front. This would remove most of the element of risk of the leader pulling to the outside. I can't quickly tell my left from my right, so I use inside and outside.

We signed on, and tried to play mind games with the opposition. I used to be a master at the mind games, although I may have lost my touch. Some say Daragh hasn't been the same since the Ericsson tag rugby derby of 2013. But the mind games may have backfired as you can see from the picture below, where I've developed "The RÁS Stare", before the club league TTT. But is wasn't as serious a case as Eugéne's RÁS Stare from the W200. I ate my Trek FlapJack.

Half of my team needed to answer the call of nature just as we were told to roll out to Blessington. So we were a bit pushed on the ride over. We continued the TTT drills on the way over. This was to give Breda a feel for the format as she had missed the ride from Kilbride.

When we arrived, our two-minute-team had just departed. I could've sworn I was in a World Cup Cyclocross start grid. The girls' took off their jackets and handed them to Jen, the Van Der Haar-ns. I consumed a Caffeine gel, Orange flavour. It needed a Frank Seymour-esque monologue to describe how horrible it was. But there wasn't time for that, Red. Eddie gave the countdown...

Race

... and Ann and Breda had already gapped myself and Helen. I had a bout of Matt Stephens-itis, struggling to clip in. We caught up pretty quickly. The turns started and were very smooth. I was at the front going into the first corner. I moved out to assertively hold the lane from the car approaching behind. I wanted a really good line through the corner. I knew that there wasn't gravel on the inside or outside, so the line was going to be easy. As I got through, I pulled off the front. My teammates didn't need the accordion effect.

Our run over the first bridge lead to the three climbs. We gapped Breda a bit on the second one, which was longer than the other two. We slowed a bit and we were all together on the next flat section. Ann kept upping the pace too soon on this flat section, but that ironed itself out. We had Dan's team in sight, but another team had us in their crosshairs. The team of Hammond/Kinch/Maher/Barry/Hendron passed us on the outside around the bend. The pass was a bit tight for my liking. Especially as they forced us into the inside line the whole way round. A twitch from any one of the eight of us and it was game over. But it went by without a hitch.

Pretty soon after the corner we were onto the section of eight climbs. We passed Dan's team. They had splintered into two equal sized groups. At one stage we were in the middle of them. Breda was having some trouble on the hills. I was determined to keep her in the train. She was recovering the ground on the descents. I was climbing pretty well, as were Ann and Helen. I was aware of a dodgy corner approaching. I communicated this, I asked for a lot of space to be given to allow braking. This was granted. Aisling and Siobhan were marshalling here and did a good job of keeping it clear. There was also a guy taking photos here, but I havn't been able to track them down I tracked him down.

The next obstacle was the gravel section from 14.1km to 16.4km. I made the others aware of this. They let me go first. I had ridden it a few days before. There was a tight corner at the start. Again I called for space between the riders. Most of this section was downhill and I lit it up. I got myself a decent sized gap on my charges. I did some of the pulling on the gravelled climb, relinquishing to Helen, as I used the sliding room to Breda to recover.

I was counting down the climb, I thought that this would help. I also thought that this would result in being told to STFU. Although as Oxygen debt set in, the odds of being told-off decreased. We were passed by both Team Rowan/Williams/Holland/Moore/Boyd and the Swift-Murnanes in quick succession. Both teams were down to three riders. We were about to make the run for home. Breda took her last turn as we upped the pace to 40kmh. The Murnanes Swiftly disappeared down the road, although we kept Rowan/Williams/Holland in view for a short time.

We approached the last climb, with three of us left, we had to stick together. The time would count at the third rider. I was getting pretty stressed, as I wanted to power to the finish, like the previous week, but my legs were heavy. The finish line came pretty soon.

Post-Race

51:30 minus the 10:00 handicap, which gave us a time of 41:30. After watching the way that two other of the other teams sailed by us, I was not very confident of a placing. I also believed that there was only points for the top three teams.

We discovered that we each had different strengths and weaknesses;

• Helen: Tears uphill, fears Gravel.
• Breda: Likes going down, doesn't like coming back up.
• Ann: Strong on the flat, not as strong going down.
• Luke: Strong on Gravel, has a weakness for Caramel biscuits/squares/drizzle sponge cake.

Pacing Review

The initial pace goals for the TTT were decently accurate.

The dark grey is the gravel section. Click the image to make it bigger.

I packed up and went into Blessington to get petrol. There was Police checkpoint checking for tax, insurance and NCT at the Industrial Estate. I wished them a good evening, they were not so confident in everyone else having their documents in order.

So there I was in the chipper, and I get a message from Eugéne. He was congratulating me on my exploits. I was pretty hungry, so I wasn't in the best form. I wasn't the only one getting my chub on with my Cheeseburger and Chips.

Sorry cow :'(

Helen was going to town on a Pizza, Oatcakes and Brazil nuts.

Breda was being healthy with some Banana Bread and Green Smoothie.

I checked the results, we were twenty seconds off first place. Twenty seconds is still a decent effort to overhaul, as the target was not static. The low-light of the night was discovering that the hot water was not on. I took my character-building shower and slept.

What Was Learned

• Team Time Trials are something very different.
• The recon ride provided very valuable input.
• The handicap system made the TTT very interesting.
• I still can't believe the John West Tuna Steampots are not on the UCI banned substance list.

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